You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. Oh I just couldn't, hell, she's only sixteen. The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. Who gives a crap who won the Civil War? Do you think my gut is too big? The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
The Hillbilly's Honeymoon A hillbilly gets married and on his wedding night he calls his father to get some tips on what to do, since he had never been with a woman before. The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
You own a homemade fur coat. Spittin is such a nasty habit. Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees!
You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law. You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie. You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge. You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures. Trim the fat off that steak. Your front porch collapses and four "dawgs git kilt. We don't keep firearms in this house.
Nope, no more for me I thought Graceland was tacky. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. You can't feed that to the dog.
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
!WV-Flirts Male's Page
You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
The top 40 things you would NEVER hear a West Virginian say, no matter how much they've had to drink, no matter how far from West Virginia they've wandered and no matter how much the skunks are threatening One of your kids was conceived on a pool table.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest. Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed. Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos".
!WV-FLIRTS IRC @ Zuh
No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. Duct tape won't fix that. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
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